Thursday, October 28, 2010

An Old Lolita Meme!

I saw this on another blog a good while back, so I thought it'd be fun to do it! Especially since I've recently had a bit of writer's block regarding this blog!

1. Best lolita fashion advice you've ever received?
I haven't really received a great deal of advice, apart from the basics... although I was once told that I shouldn't put up a brick wall when it comes to trying lighter styles. I usually go for darker colours, even though I adore light blue and mint, and I'm often reluctant to just go all out and try it. It made me consider Wonder Cookie even more... :P
As well as that, I was told that a chiffon petticoat is the way to go. My petticoats deflate a LOT, and I often have to wear three at a time, so I am now considering a chiffon one instead.

2. Style Icons?
Mana-sama. of course. But everyone loves Mana-sama :P Apart from that, it's hard to pick out any Lolita style icons I have. I take inspiration from art, things I see, and things I feel.

3. Describe your personal style.
Generally, dark, but not quite dark enough to be blatant Gothic Lolita. I like a bit of darker sweet sometimes, and I can dabble with lighter colours from time to time. It's tough to sum up...

4. Favorite designers/brands?
I adore Baby The Stars Shine Bright, along with Alice and The Pirates. I also love Moi-Meme-Moitié, I would honestly do crazy things to own an Iron Gate jsk/op in black x blue. Goodness... I must say that I've recently found a soft spot for Angelic Pretty. There was a time when I wouldn't even bother looking at a sales post if it said it was all AP, but now I have just fallen in love with so many of their prints!

5. Most cherished items?
Right now, probably my Heart Buckles. I just love them to pieces ^-^

6. Most used items?
My black handbag. It's just a plain black handbag, and I love it to pieces!

7. I feel best wearing?
Jumperskirts. I love OPs too, but jumperskirts are good for winter because they're easy to layer with for extra warmth, or modesty, whichever!

8. The first thing I look for in another lolita's outfit...
Hair, skirt shape and style. All at once.

9. Lolita fashion rule you never break?
Probably modesty. I don't like showing too much skin, though I don't mind showing my arms a little now and then. I prefer over knee socks and tights, and I go crazy if a skirt is a little short... ^ ^"

10. Never caught wearing?
OTT sweet, as much as I'd love to try it, I don't think it'd do me any favours :P

11. Dress to impress who?
Myself, honestly. I live in an area where there are no other Lolitas (...yet anyway) and I don't post to daily_lolita. Nobody here would know the difference between an ebay ita wreck and Puppet Circus, so I don't worry about what others think.

12. Your next "must have" purchase?
I've had my eye on the Alice's Portrait JSK in black for a LONG time, and I think I may try to get it for this Christmas :)

13. Favorite type of head accessory?
Headbows. Sidebows, head-eating bows, as long as they're bows! Or maybe even flowers...

14. Favorite cut of clothing (shirring, high waist, princess seams, etc.)?
I'm a fan of shirring. Honestly. If there was a facebook page for shirring, I'd like it. I usually don't like high waist, because it just feels a bit awkward on me.

15. Current obsession?
Rocking Horse Shoes. I want a pair so much.

16. Best lolita fashion advice you can give to anyone:
Lolita is not a fashion you can customise once you jump into it! You should take the time to learn the guidelines, and do your research! Before purchasing anything, look for reviews! Also, lurk on daily_lolita. You'll be surprised how much you can learn by seeing other's coordinates!

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

How to Give and Take Criticism

Ita Lolita, we've all been there, or at least been near enough. The first time we saw Lolita we swooned and wanted to look as beautiful as those models asap. Newbies as we were, we jumped on the first thing that screamed 'I am black and white with lace and frills!!'
Oh if we had only known the error of our ways...

As if looking back at old photos and lace monsters wasn't enough punishment for our wrongdoings, many people also remember snappy comments from E-Lolis, and some now prefer not to post online, regardless of whether they have improved as Lolitas or not.

The way you say something, especially on the internet, can be taken in many ways, and yes, bad is one of them. Newbie Lolitas are fragile, and can easily be scared away from the style by people whose intentions are good, but whose concrit can be picked up as bitchfacery.

I was asked recently what I thought about when I saw someone wearing a co-ord or a piece that could be classified as ita. I found it to be a strange question, but also an interesting one, because of differences of opinions towards newbie Lolitas. So, what DO I think when I see an "Ita"?

First, I look to see what they got right, instead of chopping off heads over what's wrong.
Then I break down what's wrong about the outfit, perhaps with suggestions for improving. It's a simple task, but many people can't seem to get it quite right. Of course, there can be reasons for frustration in feedback, which I'll get onto later in this post.


"Hey, nice try. Maybe next time you should wear a dress instead of a black cloth covered in paper d'oily shreddings. That teddy looks like it's ready to give up too, this is just so awful... why would you do THIS and call it Lolita??"

"Hey there! It's hard to see, but I think you have the skirt shape right. As for the dress, I'd recommend something with much less lace and regular, straight sleeves. In fact, for a first piece, a jumperskirt may be a good option, and a blouse for underneath too. It may also be better to stay away from black with white lace, as it can be difficult to pull off. Also, if you want to make Gothic Lolita a little bit cute by adding a teddy bear, try to pick a teddy which compliments your outfit. Good luck with future co-ords, and remember, we're ALL still learning!"

Which would YOU prefer to say was your comment?

Of course, there is always another side to something like this...

Taking Critisicm 101

Some people simply cannot take criticism. They don't care if you sugar-coat it or throw every possible positive comment in with it, they just don't like being criticized. They're wearing something THEIR way and they don't give a hoot.

Ah. About that.

Part of being a Lolita is learning. If you are a new Lolita excitedly posting a picture of your first outfit somewhere, be prepared for criticism. If someone tells you that your skirt is too short, when it really is, then don't ignore it and carry on, do something about it! If someone suggest that you try a different colour or shoe type, then do if you can!
There's nothing quite as annoying as someone who posts over and over again, showing the same errors, or rather, 'slip-ups', in outfits when they've already been advised against it. It's even worse when they lash out, saying they're just 'being themselves' and 'expressing their individuality'. It's truly frustrating for people who spend time trying to help, and can be the reason behind many hurtful outbursts.
People do not spend time giving advice just to peeve you. If criticism upsets you, then don't post pictures, it's as simple as that.

Another thing, don't get upset when someone says something straight out. Of course, I did say earlier in this post that people should not tear strips off someone when giving critique, but that doesn't mean some people don't mince their words. If someone says that a skirt you have is awful, or that an item of clothing doesn't flatter you, don't get upset about it, but do give it a little bit of thought. There may be some truth in the comment.

Of course, there can be some people who simply want to tick others off. If someone tells you to stop wearing Lolita, then ignore them. There is a style for everyone, and a dress style for every shape girl (or boy ^-^).

All in all, it's a case of 'Treat others as you would like to be treated.' So remember your manners (yes, they matter online too!) and remember, don't take it too seriously!